Monday, March 13, 2006

What makes me think I can fix my eyes

The reason I decided to try and improve my eyesight, the reason I even thought it was possible, is that I have a very clear memory of something very strange. About ten years ago, at a time when my eyesight was deteriorating very rapidly, I would spend a lot of time relaxing my eyes and exercising them. I was desperate to see clearly.

One day I was sitting at home without my glasses on. For some reason I'd got it into my head that if you really relaxed, if you breathed out slowly in the right way when you looked into the distance, things would seem sharper. So I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly and opened my eyes and focused on the bookshelves at the end of the room.

It was weird and wonderful and my heart was in my mouth. Everything was absolutely sharp and clear. It was as if I was wearing lenses. There was no distortion, no blurring. My heart was racing. And here's what I remember very clearly. I knew that this state couldn't last. I knew I couldn't keep it up. And, inevitably, my eyes swam and everything began blurring again.

It seems crazy to me now, as an adult, that by believing something strongly enough you can make it happen. But as a child very little seems impossible. And I keep that memory of those few seconds of clarity as a kind of talisman. I know it happened to me, even if an opthalmologist wouldn't accept it as evidence. And since it happened once, I believe it can happen again. Which is why I'm trying, and hoping.


At 12:41 PM, Blogger Simon said...

I don't like going to opticians because I always end up with specs which feel too strong. The last pair I got I could only wear for a few hours to begin with. The pair before made everything look smaller (there's a funny story when I was buying a chicken from a supermarket).

Why is this?

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At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Otto said...

Right on Lucy Ann!
I wonder how you are doing now. I'm very determined to improve my eyesight, also. The Bates Method takes plenty of patients but is so rewarding. I've been at it almost two weeks and am getting subtle but definite results.
You can fix your eyes! Trust yourself.

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